hurt
by TessaStarDean
Summary: MacStella and MacPeyton. Stella ruins one friendship and jeopardizes another.


There had been a time when Peyton was her friend. When Mac was busy, the two of them would go shopping, or to the movies, talking about life and love and all those things that girlfriends talked about. Peyton confided in her just how much she cared about Mac, and about how she dreamed of settling down with him for good.

But she also confided that she didn't understand him. The scars that he carried around were far too heavy for her, and sometimes they frightened her. Not the physical ones, of course – Peyton was an M.E., and she had, quite frankly, seen far worse. She was used to dealing with bodies, though, and not people. A difference that escaped her understanding until she started her relationship with Mac Taylor. And the scientist in her wanted to find out what was causing the pain and then sew him back up, making him presentable to the world.

Stella was different, though. She knew that Mac needed someone who didn't want to stitch his wounds up and let them fester in the darkness. Someone who would hold him after the nightmares left him gasping for breath, and someone who wouldn't take it personally when he retreated into himself. Someone who would love him even when he was bleeding and broken.

But Mac had chosen Peyton, and that meant that Stella talked and laughed with her, ignoring the pain in her gut every time the conversation came around to the distinguished detective. At least, that was the case until Peyton had broken his heart and stayed in London. And now the woman was back, sitting next to her on a bar stool in Midtown, and Stella didn't think she could do this for a second time.

"I just…I realized that I shouldn't have let him go, you know?" Peyton asked. "I was foolish to think I could be happy with anyone else."

"What about your family?" she asked. "You said that your life was in London, that that's why you couldn't come back to New York."

She shrugged. "Perhaps he's more important to me."

"Perhaps?" Stella asked. "I think you need to be a little more sure about that before you walk back into his life." She paused, taking a long drink. "It really hurt him when you left, Peyton. It took him a long time to heal. You need to be sure about this. If you're not…then you need to leave without even letting him know you were here."

"I'm sure, Stella. I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. I just need to tie up a few loose ends with Richard."

"Your fiancé."

"My _former_ fiancé." Peyton stood up, placing some money on the counter. "I'm going to go finish things with him, and then go see Mac." She leaned over, hugging Stella and kissing her on the cheek. "I've missed you, Stella. And don't worry – I don't intend on breaking his heart this time."

As she walked away, Stella turned back to the bar, ordering another drink.

"You didn't intend to break his heart last time," she whispered.

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It was hours later that she knocked on his door. And when he was standing there in front of her, a look of confusion on his face, she wouldn't even let herself think. She just stepped forward and kissed him, her lips insistent against his.

She could have cried in relief when he kissed her back, his strong arms snaking around her body as he pulled her closer, and his tongue making its way into her mouth. She groaned deeply, one of her hands in his short hair and the other fisting the front of his shirt. Eventually, though, he broke away, gasping for air.

"Stella," he murmured.

"You kissed me back," she said, awe in her voice.

She went to kiss him again, but Mac pulled back just a little, a small smile on his face.

"I can taste the scotch, Stell. Are you drunk?"

She shook her head, even as she pressed it against the side of his face. "I'm not. You know me, Mac. You've seen me drunk."

"But you've been drinking?" he pressed.

"Yes," she admitted. "But that doesn't mean that I don't know what I want. I want you," she said firmly. "And I'm tired of waiting."

His eyes searched hers for what felt like an eternity. Then his hands drifted to the top button of her shirt.

"You're sure?" he whispered.

Stella smiled, placing her hands over his and helping him to undo the button. "I'm sure."

One by one, they undid the buttons together, until the shirt was open and Mac pushed it off of her shoulders slowly. Stepping forward, he placed a soft kiss to her collarbone.

"Mac," she breathed.

Encircling his arms around her once again, he held her to him tightly, leading them deeper into the apartment.

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Mac sighed deeply as sunlight filtered into the room and he slowly opened his eyes. It had been awhile since he had slept so soundly, and he knew that much of that was due to the woman lying next to him. He looked down at her, smiling as he watched her sleep; that smile faded, though, when he heard a knock come from the front door. Sighing again, he placed a kiss to Stella's shoulder and slid out of bed.

His eyes widened when he opened the door and found Peyton standing on the other side. She stood there, shifting nervously from foot to foot, her hands clasped in front of her. Her hair was pulled back in a loose ponytail and she looked tired, the area around her eyes darker than he remembered.

"Peyton…"

She gave him a small smile. "Hello, Mac."

"What are you -?"

"I've just come back from London a couple days ago, and I was thinking –"

She stopped at a small sound coming from inside the apartment. They both turned to see Stella walking into the living room, clad only in one of Mac's dress shirts. He blushed slightly at that, but then frowned as he saw the look of horror and pain on Peyton's face as she fought back tears.

"Oh," she whispered. "I didn't realize…" She dragged her eyes away from Stella and back to the man standing before her. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

Mac looked back and forth at the two women, taking careful note of their expressions. As Peyton turned and walked back towards the elevator, he locked eyes with Stella and pointed at her.

"Don't go anywhere," he said firmly.

She sighed, moving into the kitchen. "Just go after her, Mac. It's where you'd rather be."

He frowned at her, but turned and chased Peyton down the hall. She had already reached the elevator by the time he caught up to her, but she was still waiting for it.

"Peyton –"

"I didn't realize the two of you were together," she said, not meeting his gaze. "I wouldn't have come if I had."

"It's…a recent development."

"But you're happy? With her, I mean."

"Yes."

She looked away, a tear escaping down her face; she wiped at it angrily. "I was too late, wasn't I?"

Mac nodded. "Even if it weren't for Stella…"

"I just wish she had told me, you know? I had drinks with her last night."

He frowned, things slowly coming together. "You did?"

"Yes." She paused, finally meeting his eyes. "Maybe it's for the best, though. Before coming here, I went to see my ex. We had some loose ends…" The doors in front of her opened, and Mac put out a hand to keep them from closing.

"And you realized that maybe they weren't just ends," he finished for her quietly.

"I was willing to risk it for you, though." She took a deep breath and then kissed him lightly on the cheek before stepping into the elevator. "I want you to be happy, Mac."

"I want the same for you."

Peyton nodded. "Take care of yourself."

She reached out and pressed the button for the bottom floor, and Mac let go of the doors. She smiled sadly as they closed, and then she was gone.

Taking a deep breath, Mac turned and moved back towards his apartment.

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He found her sitting on the edge of his bed, staring out the window as she tried to hook her bra. There was a tightness in his chest as he moved forward, and his voice sounded hard in his own ears.

"That was cruel."

Stella jumped slightly, and half-turned to face him; he could see tears streaming down her face. "I know," she whispered.

She still struggled with her bra and Mac sighed, kneeling on the bed and moving her hands out of the way. A moment later, he had it hooked and he took a seat beside her.

"It always amazed me how you women did that without ever looking." She smiled slightly at his words, but the pain in her face remained. "Why would you do that, Stella?" he continued. "It's not like you to purposely hurt someone."

"I know," she repeated, her hands lying useless in her lap. "I just…I was so tired of you choosing other women, Mac. Other women who broke your heart, who weren't right for you. And when Peyton told me she was going to try and get back together with you…I didn't want to see all those old wounds get reopened."

His face was stony as he stared out the window. "You knew she'd be stopping by. That she would see you."

Stella nodded. "I was convinced that she would hurt you again, and I…I wanted to hurt her back."

He closed his eyes at her words, and it was a long time before he spoke again. "And was that all I was? A way to hurt her?"

"No." He looked up at the ferocity of her tone, and found her starting at him, tears sliding down her face. "No," she repeated. Her face crumbled. "You're everything to me, Mac," she whispered.

He sat up a little straighter and reached out, gently cupping her face. "Why didn't you tell me how you felt?"

She shrugged. "You always chose someone else."

"You knew I wasn't happy with them."

"But they seemed to be what you wanted."

"You're what I've wanted."

"Did I screw this up?" she asked quietly, resting her hand on top of his. "Are you going to be able to forgive me?"

Mac leaned forward and kissed her softly. "I already have."

Stella let out a sigh of relief and leaned into him, letting his arms wrap around her and hold her close. "I'm sorry," she breathed.

"I know."

Wiping at her eyes, she sat up a little. "I should go apologize to Peyton –"

Mac squeezed her hand. "Not right now, you shouldn't. You're the last person she wants to see, Stella."

"You're right." Taking a deep breath, she entwined their fingers. "She was my friend."

"And you may have to let that go," he said slowly. "I'm not sure you can ever fix what you did. Not with her."

Stella nodded. "There are always consequences, huh?"

"Yes." He pulled at her until they were both lying down again, and then covered them with blankets. "But let's not think about those for now. You're safe here, Stella."

She rested her head on his chest and snuggled closer. "And we'll be okay."

He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. "We'll be okay."


End file.
